There are so many takers of our energy and emotions. It can be work, spouse, children, friendships or family. It’s not necessarily a bad thing unless they are just thieves of this. I find every day I am run down and feeling low in energy and running empty on emotions. I have so many factors in my life that contribute to this but to summarise, I have two young children, a husband, a household and every responsibility that comes with it. To add to this mix we are moving, have an operation and are planning to travel to see family. You’d be right in thinking I’m going to handle this all.
I’ve learnt how important it is to just stop and try and fill myself up. I struggle with this pattern of behaviour where I push myself to make everyday work. My days consist of mostly the same activities and usually, when I can’t add any more in I get a call from someone who needs or wants something and I push myself to do this for them with my two young children in tow. I began to realise I was giving a lot more than I was receiving and that this exchange was a one-way street.
I have begun to tune into how I am feeling emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually and saw how I didn’t make any time for myself. No one was coming to my aid so I could get the much-needed help I needed. I was being used time and time again under the premise and belief that I am so happy to help others and surely they’d be happy to help me. Boy, was I wrong? It was like pulling teeth from a Tiger, not convenient for them, it didn’t suit them, the reasons and excuses were endless.
I had to come to the realisation and acceptance that I just could not push myself anymore for anyone or anything, especially when they would not come to my aid when I was left so empty, run-down and ill. I, unfortunately, had no one to turn to, so I had to turn to myself once again for the help I so desperately needed. I would have to put these boundaries in and stick with them. Soon guilt was to follow, but I was able to wake up to the blatant fact that I am not anyone’s fairy godmother, I don’t have the magic to make things happen, and it’s not my job to keep others so well-preserved while empty every resource I have just to get them by.
It’s hard to take time out for yourself when you have so much on your shoulders, but I’ve learnt to put things into a routine and time frame, that I can do what’s necessary for the morning and after that, I will make time for meditation and recovery. I will make time to eat, relax and just be with my children. I encourage the older one to play while the other child has asleep, and I leave any other jobs for later instead of stressing about doing them immediately. The truth is, these things will always be there, and they never end. What does end is my ability to keep going and giving, and that’s now my responsibility to take care of because no one else will help me take the necessary time away that I need to recuperate?
If you’re like me and seem to be this endless well of life to others around you, I implore you, please stop. Find another way. No one person is meant to be the only source of help to another because we run out too. We need to take time for ourselves to recover and rest because if we don’t we won’t be able to keep pouring out in a healthy loving way, but we become tired, worn out and run down, the quality lacking from our kindness. We need to be realistic about the goals and standards we set for ourselves and pride always come before the fall, so learn to be wise and take the time you need. No one else will do it for you.
We are not better for it, if you do it just to elevate yourself then your heart and actions are wrong too. Ask yourself, will I give from what I have, or will I give from an empty cup deceived by pride? Give from a cup that is good, that is loving. We all want to receive from someone who truly cares, not someone who is bitter but does it anyway because no one else will, or it’s the right thing to do.
Esoteric Realms 