Tag: mindfulness

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Don’t Get Your Wires Crossed

Looking up at the power lines overlapping, I see lines of communication, and I am reminded of our own lifelines. Lines within us that holds us together, lines that define us as we get older, lines we draw as boundaries around us and lines that are made for us to connect us.

Sometimes our wires get tangled and muddled into a knot, our wires become disconnected. Let us never forget the importance of keeping our own wires untangled and free. Life sent through lines like electricity travelling back and forth, we can send out messages into the dark and not be afraid if it’s been received.

We can trust in this process and predictability that we are dependable and sound, just like power lines dressing the street. We stand tall, remaining connected, reaching out to one another, relaying the message to the one who needs to hear it.

Image sourced from Google. No copyright intended.
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It all starts with Adam

Ninety percent of the time when I have a problem and seek help, I get met with the most apathetic response. It’s either my responsibility for the trouble in my life, my fault or that’s just how it is for me as a woman and to just deal with it. The real kicker is this is the response I’ve received from other older women. Women who were perceived as kind, helpful, spiritual. Someone who would listen without judgement and give advice that would help you flourish.

This gets enraging and emotional, feeling things from frustration and pain, to wanting to change their own thinking, but I can’t change someone who chooses self over others. So I really delve deeper into thought and I begin to release things like pieces of the puzzle coming together because I’m not giving others the benefit of the doubt to be perfect. What we all need someone, to take responsibility for their actions, listen to how they hurt us and work together to heal. Ideally and simplicity at its best, but this isn’t everyone’s thought when their own ego has a bigger role to play.

I guess in the beginning, if we need to begin somewhere solid, disappointment flourished. Imagine being the first human, spending a lot of time learning, adapting, overcoming. Finally, your loneliness is noticed and boom, your lover is in your life. How do you mess this up? Yeah, you never had human interaction like this before, but you know they are a part of you, and they are your responsibility. You get to protect, provide and love them, but instead you forget the loneliness and take advantage of them. They are offered something more, and you stand by, even participate.

You get caught out and blame them. Weak. This is the point I want to make, in every one of my “relationships” people I was getting to know, I got thrown under the bus. I was forced to live under a rock and when my wings were beginning to spread they were broken. So innocent was my pleading falling on deaf ears and blackened hearts. The thing is these people boasted about how good they were, capable of taking care of me, what they had to offer. It was all a lie. I was either a filler of their life to keep boredom away or to be seen as someone who actually have someone in their life, someone like me. Pathetic really.

I don’t like anyone who uses someone as a badge in their life, like a statement of their achievements. If you’re not going to actually love someone with action and not your incessant talking, don’t expect respect. Your words are like an avalanche, you just don’t shut up. You talk and talk and talk about how great you are and how successful you are and how everyone respects you but if you were to ask the person in their life behind the closed doors and not in everyone’s sight, see how different their reality is, actually the reality of that boastful person.

I guess what’s been plaguing my mind is the same verse found in the bible, going around and around.

Ephesians 5:25 “For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.”

So, what does it mean to love your spouse? This:

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

Ephesians 4:2: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

1 Peter 3:7: “In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

There are all sorts of every kind of person on this Earth, some compatible, some not so much. Don’t bring someone into your life if you’re not ready to live like this, to actually give every day in small ways and once in a while in bigger gestures. A person isn’t an object that you bring into your life for company. They are not your slave to be the only person giving every day in every way of themselves until they have no soul left in their body. Think twice before you commit to love and thrive before you awaken it.

If they’re not going to love you as you deserve, walk away. Life is too short to give of your self in wholesome love and to be met with adversity, apathy and indifference.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2bjZnUqsteuIhrqCT7Ai1O?si=CU5q44_oT0KlzE4ShIjZ2w

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Connected

There was a wall between us, like a fort, it divided. You were safe inside and I was left outside. Everyday I’d come to you, just to be able to hear your voice. You made hours feel like minutes, your very presence was supernatural. You could make my darkest days seem so bright. You told me you had to go away for a while and you made me a promise I would forget. You told me that we would finally be connected, that we could see face to face, that there would be no more wall between us. It would finally be just us.

I’d never thought these days would be so dark, it felt like an eternity had fallen upon me and time froze with fear. There was no more light, there was no more conversation. There was nothing. We had been separated for so long we didn’t know each other anymore, or so it felt to me. You had disappeared. Why would you turn your face from me, did you really have to go? This bond I have to you is too strong for me to bear. I looked at that wall every day like I was an ant and it was a giant. It was the one thing that took you from me, how could we ever be together.

The sun rose this day and I remember how it felt. Like your hand on my should giving me comfort and reassurance. Today was the day, the wall came crumbling down. You gave your word and there I watched as it fell like dust. It no longer bore a resemblance to the division between you and me, it was no more. We could finally be together. We could meet face to face. You let me in to your kingdom and I could finally see what it meant to be you.

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All We Have Is Time.

They say time is a present, my children have taught me this to a fuller understanding in day by day moments. Sharing more engaging activities has helped build upon a foundation of sacrifice and love. There will be a time they won’t need or want hugs and kisses, bedtime stories and me in general to help them. They will want to express their ever-growing independence all by themselves. They won’t call for me unless they need something, they won’t require me to nurture them as an I once did and in all of this, all I can think of is how precious the time we have is NOW. That there will be a time in the future where they will be able to go be their person, that right now will never happen again.

Realising all of this has given me a greater appreciation for my role as their mother, that at any moment life will change again and this time won’t come back, it won’t be undone, it will just be completed and built upon in days of moments made up of spending time together, teaching each other and growing in love. Amongst the frustrations and challenges we all face, taking the time and making the time are the most important tools we have in allow life and love to grow and happen. Otherwise, we end up with a house of stick lies where at any moment we fear it will fall exposing our failings. Time is all we have, the greatest gift we have been given to make a real difference big or small in our lives and those lives around us. We can create change, impact on production and future progression, we even get the time to relax but do we ever really make time for the important things in life, the things we look back upon and wish for the time there again, the time we will never get back.

Make the time. Making time, creating time, setting aside time. Showing something it is important means prioritising it. You don’t hide behind excuses like “I don’t have the time.” No, you make the time, you set it time aside and you use that time wisely like nourishment in the soil for the roots of the relationship. You can’t regret the time you never had because you never gave the time for it. We are given a gift so malleable but many of us tend to lose it, waste it or mismanage it. We expect others to control our time for us taking no responsibility for the gift we are given. We can take it and create something even if it only lasts a short while, sometimes something existing for a moment is better than not at all. I remind myself in every moment with them, I can never get this time back, I can only ever look back. I ask myself what memories am I creating, what memories will they hold. Let every moment be special, even just for a moment.

We tend to regret our choices with great hindsight and the emotion attached to it, how can we grasp the wind yet control it all at the same time. The sooner we recognise what true gift we have been given we can comprehend how t use it. Teaching one another how to use it to the best of our ability and create something more in our lives so we don’t look back on all the times we were ‘too busy.’ It’s time to make the time. You’re tired and sad, take the time to be happy, do something instead of nothing. DO something different instead of the same thing, do something out of your comfort zone that teaches you and broadens your horizon even slightly. You’re growth, your life, your experiences and your contribution to your life all lie in your hands and no one can decide how you use that time. Only you can choose to be wise or foolish.

You are given a gift of time. How will you best use this gift to create something you can leave for others to be inspired by and inspire to? There is no time like the present.

Image by PSD found on Google.
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Black Mirror – Hang the DJ

So like all Black Mirror episodes, we are taken on a journey into the future where things seem all too familiar. This episode reflects on a system that gathers information on individuals over a series of relationships. Frank and Amy, our leading gent and lady, are absolutely perfect for each other, they know it, we know, but the system decides against it. They enjoy a 12 hour “relationship” all thanks to a system that is 99.8% accurate and successful for the perfect match, or so they say.

So as many people know how the episode goes, I’m not here to give a rewrite but share what stood out to me, my takeaway message as you would have it. We seem to believe or convince ourselves to stay in the wrong relationships. Whether it be because it’s convenient, deeper emotional issues like trauma bonding, or just convincing yourself you have to be in it for any reason. Yet the ones we desire most we believe or convince ourselves we aren’t able or allowed to. Why do we do this to ourselves, I know I am very guilty of this. For an array of unbelievable reasons, I stayed in a place that was not my home as you would have it. It was not a place of comfort, support or representative of any love whatsoever.

I find it baffling that we have this mixed up psychology in relationships, that we can seek out unhealthy and incompatible people and somehow try and bond to them. Why? Not everyone does this, and I know for a fact it has a lot to do with how we are treated and reared from birth well into our early adult life. We feel this sense of duty to those who are not reciprocal in our affections and understanding of our needs, or those who have diminished our self identity and tell us who we can or cannot choose to be loved by. No, I don’t mean the people who are right in their warnings, but those who are controlling of all our choices.

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The other part that stood out was this understanding of how terrible the experience of having to endure meaningless relationships, one after the other. You’re waiting and hoping for it to end, or you’re full aware that it will end soon enough, and it’s so tiresome emotionally. The right match we search for, find and hold onto, yet it seems like everything including a flawless system tries to pull you apart. You will know if you’re a perfect match, you’ll know your twin flame, the other part of yourself.

It would seem the moment we take back our power and stop watching the clock is also the moment the greatest fear comes of if it had to end just like every other relationship because even though you know it’s the one, there could be this moment where we lose it all. Fear and terror of past emotional trauma takes over, and it would seem that we become the cause of a foreseeable end or issue to arise. We program ourselves into responding so negatively, we hurt ourselves before anything even happens.

The biggest take home message I have is, don’t ever give your power away or anyone to decide your life for you or leave it up to chance. It’s all you, you know who you draw to yourself and vice versa. We’ll know how to navigate through it because it is ours.

Image sourced from Google. No copyright intended.
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Shining Star, the Inspirer

So, what have a learnt today in my meditation and time away from the unruly noise around me? The importance of the message, the ability to inspire others to create change and impact others and how we tend to get so fixated on our own importance and role in inspiring and influencing others and the credit we get for sharing the gifts and messages we receive so freely.

I really want to focus on the negative mindset behind the ability to be recognised. We crave it and need it, with social media platforms like Instagram we are allowed to feed this desire for admiration and validation. The majority of us don’t use it as a tool to reach the masses but as a step stool for our own ego. We haven’t learnt how to silence the need inside to be validated so we feed it so we feel it may stay quiet. How did we forget that we are already so worthy and beautiful? With insecurity and isolation, we are sacrificed to the loneliness that hurts the most, but with a filter, we can filter our reality and create a place where we feel we can mask our true identity. We should be considering our own pain as a thing of beauty, to use as its own tool to healing deeper inside our hearts and minds. We can embody the virtue of the spider, weaving our own truth to share with others to help enlighten them, help them grow and break old ways and form a new future that is filled with light, love and hope.

In amongst eh confidence and interesting lives and talents people share are we really helping make a change in the world with them or do we use them so we can exalt our status or so we can use it as a tool to help others. Are we so broken we are fixated on our own darkness that we can find the light in us and share it with others? These are just some of the thoughts and questions that stood out in my daily meditation for this morning. That it is the message that is important not me the messenger. I am not the creator of my own gift but God is the creator who decided to give it to me freely, so I should do the same, share who I am with others. That being someone who has been through the darkness and comes out somehow with the light shining ever brighter. It is not my own success that I share but the ability to understand and that what I’ve been through is a gift to share from what I learnt.

We all have our own gifts and abilities to give into this world and instead of hiding them, disregarding them as relevant or already cutting ourselves down with premeditated thoughts of others negative responses, let’s just give. There were so many times I longed for an honest answer to one of my life’s difficult questions and no had the answer or no one had the guts to tell me the truth. I realise now it’s because they couldn’t even be honest and real with themselves about their own situation and life. So here we all are, together on one big beautiful planet we all can call home, maybe we should act more like a family than enemies and maybe the world would change for better. We can’t change the whole world but we can change our immediate self, our own situation and life and that if we all do this we do impact the space around us. We can change the world but only if we change our own selves, inside out.

I hope this encourages you to think about your own self, what you’re going through and how you feel. Begin to seek answers and dig a little deeper. You will find the healing you need and then comes the freedom. You will be comfortable for the first time in a long time, your cares and worries begin to dissipate into non-existence. You will begin to bear the light to shine into others lives and help them where they are at. You will begin to make a difference. It doesn’t need to be recognised by national television for it to be important, just by the person you pour into. Sometimes it’s the actions others can repay that mean the most, that when we take action that cannot be returned we’ve truly fulfilled the law of humanity, to love one another.

Let’s change our mindsets from ME to YOU and the only way to do that is to deal with ourselves first then we can use the strength we have to help others. I believe in all things good as irrational as that may seem, it keeps me flowing right and that flows into those around me. That’s better than a constant toxic person, right? Think about it. We all have the power to impact those around us just with a word or attitude. So choose wisely what energy you choose to manifest into being around you and into others.

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Learning to accept the Flow of Life

For a while now I’ve noticed a tight heart feeling inside me. This started after my first child was born. I’ve only realised now how I’ve felt for a long time, that I had to be in control of every situation because I simply couldn’t depend on any else to come and help me when I so desperately needed it. This was even before having children. I had been pushed into an overactive state and never really got to release myself out of it. When it seems like everyone else in your life has expectations and negative responses for you, you begin to work overtime.

Mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually I can feel how much damage it has done so far and how I can’t relax properly. I never unwind. Today is one of those days where I finally noticed how much I’ve learnt from my own short journey with meditation and reflection. I was meant to be moving the mass of boxes into our new home, I was going to be pre-emptive with how much I could achieve before actual deadlines would appear but I began to let go and realise how overactive I am functioning in this thought pattern. How again, I had a plan to help myself but today was having none of it.

I’m going to move a small load on my own, I’m okay with this because despite how much I would try my best in this situation if roles were reversed I have to stop projecting what I’ve been forced to do onto others and that we tend to do this a lot. We put unnecessary pressure and expectations onto a certain situation or person because it’s become a very unhealthy learned habit and we break them down instead of allowing them some grace. This isn’t because of personality it’s because of conditioning over the years that others played the guilt card and when you’re an Empath it’s easy to begin to get played on the basis of emotion. “You must because” or your ability to choose gets taken away. A lot of people like to respond and say “well, you can say no”! Actually, no you can’t we say no and it goes pear shaped very quickly usually with their response that is narcissistic, abusive or controlling. We back down and begin to stop fighting back it’s easier to just stay silent, to be a slave and just keep trying to do the right thing under a fear fuelled pressure.

We need to begin to break the cycle of how we manage our expectations and not allow ourselves to automatically revert to a constant pushing for results. Sometimes we need to go with the flow. This is who I was before and under the actions of those who switched me from free-flowing to overactive, I try to not do this to others and you should too. Be aware of how you respond and understand if you are blocked or overactive in your approach. Are you calm or frustrated, collected or about to lose the plot? Well, take a minute and step back from it and ask yourself “How am I responding?” tell yourself honestly the “why” and begin to deal with it. Life doesn’t happen on our watch, it happens as it does, it’s how we respond to it that really counts.

I hope you all enjoy your happy Saturday xx

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Thoughtful Thursday

Pictures speaks a thousand words or something like that. This speaks straight to my heart. I love Love, what can I say. The heart wants what the heart wants and if you’re like me it’s more than chocolate and flowers, it’s real. It’s a reality and emotion and force that leads your life that you can’t shake out from. Everything you do is to love. Except when we don’t get what we need in return we get frustrated, we know we are being shown what we give. It’s a pickle sometimes to navigate but we learn, eventually that not everyone has to receive what we have to give, not everyone is willing or actually deserving.

Two energies, two full life forces that can form one, the difference in them is a completion of the other. We’re different but we are the pieces that fit perfectly together, one is strong and the other nurtures, one might be clever and the other silly and one might be broken and the other a healer, to be able then to turn the tables and reverse the roles. You always complement each other which can annoy you but instead of fighting their yin to your yang, embrace their madness, sadness, brokenness and help lead and guide them on their journey to growth. This is your relationship, you don’t get the fruit for nothing, you both have to put the time and care into it and into each other to watch it grow, flourish, heal and then you can enjoy the fruits of both your labour.

You can’t deny that love really does make the world go around, but not the tv love, I’m describing only the real sacrificial, unconditional, will break you and cleanse you, love. The only love that matters. The one that brings you closer and connected to each other, you really do form one person. You are made whole in real love. You know yourself best when it comes to your experiences and expectations but when you find it, you know.

I hope you all know yourself enough to know you are worth more than “less than acceptable” behaviour and effort. Why settle for wet rag when you can ignite yourself with your twin flame. I have a tendency you could say, towards the importance of the prioritisation of people in your life over other materialistic things. More importantly the ones you love over other irrelevant people and things. Your car is not important, your job is not worth the one person who actually will be there if you’re dying, it’s only the ones who love us who will truly hold us as we travel through life’s journey.

If you don’t have each other, what do you really have?

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Todays Meditation

I had a lot on my heart and mind today (as usual) so I took time this morning to be very intentional on answers, healing and shed light by digging deeper into the why of it.

I have begun to feel like I am always being left empty handed in relationships, it’s a one way street and they are like a blackhole of emotion and resources. I keep pouring in and it all keeps disappearing and there is never any return. I really had to dig deeper to understand that I was not only giving to a endless void but also that wasn’t the part that hurt, it was the fact the I would give unconditionally and never once did I receive that in return.

As I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, I saw three things I want to share with you and I hope this helps others who may be struggling with this too. The first was a large great white shark, it was just in front of me, we were face to face. Sharks represent two things, your desire for productivity, the ability to keep moving and stay focused, but it also represents how we can be in relationship with someone or be the person who is greedy and scrupulous. For me this just made sense. I had faced many sharks in my life so far but this one was different because I heard a voice say become the shark. For the first time I felt I could take the power back after identifying the root issue in my relationships and how I thrive with productivity and a constant movement forward in my life. I thrive for progress.

The second image was an Anaconda, it was wrapped around a large tree trunk and was calm. Snakes in general represent a transformation, a shedding of skin. You are the centre of the changes but there is nothing to fear. The Anaconda specifically comes as a reminder that we cannot control everything, to let go of the outcome and allow things to unfold. For me this is was always are hard thing to do, but this has been a recurring message over the last few days. It’s time for me to stop being so overactive in my energy and allow change to occur and most importantly, not fear it.

The third was the colours I saw during this time was the correlation to how these issues were affecting me emotionally and physically. They were white and violet which are related to source energy flowing to intuition and purple which relates to our third eye which helps us see all perspectives and helps with intuition work. As someone whose strength is in intuition and knowing, this was a great sign as seeing colour during meditation is a sign of it healing and unblocking.

For many this means nothing, for me this means everything. I have a message, to understand the sharks in my life, to breakdown the root of an issue and know I can now transform the issue into a solution, I can embody the shark by keeping my progress continual. I know when I focus on an issue I begin to clear out any blockages by meditation and digging deeper. These three proactive ways increase our ability to change. We can change our circumstances, ourselves and heal all in one when we just take the time to sit, be still and allow ourselves to work through it and see it clearly.

Sometimes we avoid this so we don’t have to acknowledge or accept the pain we have or have inflicted in ourselves as well as needing to change. I think more than anything the fear of it holds us back and doing so holds us back in every way mentally , emotionally, physically and spiritually. So I encourage you, even if you don’t have any issues surrounding your thoughts and emotions at this time, still take the time out to just breathe, relax and unwind. You don’t need to receive anything, you can just let go and allow your body to recharge itself, which is more important than your phone!

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Zen Out versus Zone Out

Many of us tend to zone out after days of work and studies, terrible routines and lack of self-care we turn to the ability to zone out to be our saving grace. When we zone out we hope to press the reset button but all we do is check out for a moment to return to the ever ensuing chaos around us wearing us down.

I am learning to zen out, I really feel it once I’ve done it properly. I can’t rush it or force it to happen to be achieved quickly. It’s a personal process and a step we can take every day. For me, I tend to self future journal, I really allow things inside me to speak and I listen instead of the other way around. I begin to reflect a lot deeper and allow this time to be calm and quiet with music or just the sounds of life outside my window which usually fades the deeper I go. I can do this anywhere but choose to make my home my sanctuary of peace and blissful zen. I always feel like I have actually achieved a state of rest and refresh.

I compare my experience and transition from trying to just zone out to actual zen out and the experience is one you must have for yourself. Only you can take yourself to the next level and silence the noise in your life, calm and refocus the doubts and put a pin in the stresses of daily expectations.

I encourage you to give this a try and see the difference. You will not only feel relaxed but you will begin to see the changes in you and your life. You’ll see first hand how a minute of intentional meditation can change your day and if you do this every day, you’ll see your life take a new higher path, you’ll begin ascension into a fresh journey. We all have the power inside ourselves and mind, we just need to learn how to begin the process of change. We have nothing to lose and all to gain.

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