change – Esoteric Realms

January 1, 2022

Times are changing for July.

I wrote this piece in July 2021. I don’t know why I never posted it, but it’s a perfect reflective piece for myself of how far I have come. I have learnt what disrespects me has no place in my life or energetic field.

This retrograde, eclipse and full moon are really playing to my strengths (just joking) I am furious, all the time and have no control over the rage that sits just below the surface. To be honest though I’m glad it exists, this is my new birth into who I am, honest and intolerant of ignorance. I will allow myself this gift of truth and the fury that rides with it.

I don’t know about you, but I do know this month has become one of new life and to achieve it, we all must embrace these changes and strongholds growing in us. We will break the barriers of the previous life, our intensity will not be dulled by those who are usually the ones suffocating us and sucking the oxygen from our lungs. I am in a rage, for those who are inconsiderate, selfish and unkind. They don’t think about anyone else, and when I suffer alone. Yet I always ask them how they are, what they need, are they really okay. Call it a birth into a new-found fire, self-respect and boundary, but learning to understand myself has taught me I will not tolerate or accept less than par behaviour like this.

Years, hours, days, just all of my time has been wasted on those who care and consider only themselves and their needs. Whose opinions are forever heard, whose actions affect those around them so negatively, their lack of consideration and care is strewn through our pain and suffering. We are ready to embrace the anxiety and weight they cause. Like a shark they devour our hopes, stability, dreams, freedom. What did we do to deserve this? Nothing, but we give them our time, something they are undeserving of if they can’t even care about you genuinely, don’t wait for them to care for your selfless actions and change their ways any time soon. They are self-seeking, self advancing, meaning you are nothing but a self nominating tool they use to get ahead. They’ll squeeze you dry and throw you away, they’ll treat you poorly in the process.

Expect nothing from these people and create the boundary now to avoid all contact and evidence of their presence in your life. It’s time to cut cords and ties and break yourself free from their cage. Your soul purpose is not to be used by them, but to grow and flourish into your own success and not be held back and emptied by these people. They can appear as people who should care about us, they will use love against you, turn the conversation around onto your faults, but remember you’re not the one writhing like a snake without its head after being held accountable for itself actions, and you are not the responsible party. You’re making boundaries and cutting them out, they can learn to thrive like the parasite they are on someone else’s hard work and efforts.

I hope this month teaches you something new, I hope you allow this time of change to transform you, I know I have found my strength, my voice. Have you?

Be blessed. X

June 27, 2019

The Negative Opinion, the False Identifier.

I have this issue I seem to fall under – trying to show people that I’m not the negative person they say I am. People’s opinions matter to me. It’s a problem I developed when I was 18. I had a lot of conflict and hardship and it just destroyed me how I was constantly being talked about so negatively. I was never good enough and always attacked in groups by people who were supposed to be righteous and important. Their actions proved otherwise.

It broke every part of me to have to comprehend people I was supposed to trust and depend on slander and gossip, tell me the lies they spread about. It was awful. My problem was I couldn’t hurt and I fly and I desperately wished they would see the truth and light about me. Until now, I realise how much emotional damage they’ve inflicted. I couldn’t live my life to the highest, truest calling I had in me. I had years stolen and emotional damage like only a few would understand. I still crave who I am but this time I’m trying to come against all the damage they’ve done over the years with their words. I had enough, I was done with thinking with regret about my past and all the abuse I faced.

So today, I hope I can encourage whoever needs to see this. Stay true to you no matter what they say. You can’t change evil, you can be the good you are though.

June 10, 2019June 10, 2019

Mindfulness from Today

Every day I begin to think what am I going to meditate on today? Today was about my own children and what future and life I want them to have and how these hopes came from a place of love and not control. As a parent, you can feel many things but from our own experiences mine was fear. Fear of hurting them more than being able to love them and let them grow and flourish. That I would be responsible for the pain I carry and placing that into them. I don’t ever want my children to go through what I went through but how do we escape the ever seeming vicious cycle?

Take responsibility for your own actions. When you live your most authentic life and experience the truest you, you don’t need to hash together a makeshift life. It will come together. Your positive vibrations begin to beat stronger and stronger and like two magnets, your strength, courage and self-love pull you to where you need to be. Don’t be afraid of yourself, let your authentic self raise its flag and fly it high and with that same confidence bring to life all that you are. So, that when you have the ability to pour into someone else and respond to them in mindfulness and love, you will be able to.

This is a journey of undoing a lot of pain but also this journey began because I knew I never wanted anyone else to feel this or live this as a daily and constant reminder of how bad things have been. Detox of the old life, shed their weight off you. Take the first steps to independence so you to, do not hurt others the way you have been hurt. You get to heal and survive and teach others how to be better and do better. You get to be free for the first time in your life and you get to watch others grow from the love you nurture them with and survive with the strength you instilled in them.

I hope you take a calming sense of peace with you today and know you are putting out power and love instead of hate and pain. The children are our future.

June 9, 2019June 10, 2019

I am the Wave

Today I was intentional with what I needed to meditate on, what was the one thing I was going to encourage myself with. As I closed my eyes, a clear voice in me said: “Become the wave.” There formed a picture in my mind of me standing in front of a giant wave. The wave had always represented something I was trying to resist, something I was fearful of because of how great it was and soon the picture changed from me face the wave to me turning my back to it and becoming embraced by it. It was a powerful image. I was no longer in fear of something so powerful but I was embracing myself, I was learning to stop trying to fight myself and resist my own greatness but instead, let it wash over me and embrace it.

Sometimes in quiet and stillness the truth is revealed and other times it’s just waiting for us to be open enough to listen and let it speak. I have resisted myself for a long time, another bad habit formed over years and years of being forcefully crushed in submission and broken into their order and that I might fit into someone else’s will. Yet here I am, as empowered as ever again by me. That the inner me knew it needed to never give up on the outer me. That two halves become a whole once again. Many times I got told to be quiet, many times I was scolded for telling the truth, many times the truth was pushed to be forgotten and every time I was made to feel wrong in every sense. That everything I was, was broken down, crushed and laid to waste by those who didn’t approve of my ability to keep being my authentic self. It didn’t sit well with them that I could face adversity as I did and still keep going, especially when they were the ones to cause me the greatest harm.

So you see, if you have those around you and it’s a constant fear to face giants, take a moment to seek the truth and it shall find you. It will tell you that, you, are in fact the giant, the victor, the glory holder and you are to not be intimidated or made fearful of anyone or anything.

Instead of feeling like you’re facing a giant, embrace the fact you are the giant. Change your mind, your perspective and understanding. You no longer face adversity but embrace it.