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Soul Talk – TW Mental Health

Find yourself someone who listens between the lines of your truth and their interpretation. Who can really crack the code of your hesitation before a “yes” and the longer than necessary pause before you speak “ok”. They’ll understand the meaning behind it and what you are truly saying, even when you don’t.

Find someone who really hears you, not just listens or says they did. They respond with understanding and know when not to but to give you the gift of silent reassurance. They show you with their full heart and soul that you are that you are being heard, that your emotions are valid, and you are in a safe place. They understand what you are trying to say behind the frustration and noise of conversation and words held for too long swimming around in your mind.

Always bring home the truth by sharing yours with someone who values your spoken life. Words are not just life, they are from the life within us spilling out. So if they know you, you’ll know they’ve been truly communicating with your soul. They truly know you because they truly listen and honestly care about what is going on inside. They never take it personally, they never project their own fears or insecurities onto you, when you open your soul to them.

People say it’s okay to not be okay, but what’s not okay is the conversations that don’t happen after major events for individuals. The people who have had a continual struggle yet show up every day for everyone else. When they finally do break from the hidden weight of pain and trauma. The words that fall on death ears, or arguments that arise due to the inability to grasp how this could be. Find your tribe who love and support you through it all. We all fight battles, it doesn’t mean we’re not trying when we struggle some days more than others or we seem just fine. Just be kind. It’s not that hard. It’s the people who struggle the most that give the most in the end and don’t receive the help they need because they were deemed strong enough. There can only be so much reserve for finding strength, so just be present, listen and don’t judge.  

Image sourced from Google. No copyright intended.
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A life lived unrequited

They don’t write stories about girls like me. The ones who come into this world filled with hope and love to give, also ready to receive. The girl who loves, listens, obeys. Is quiet and happy to play on her own. Who can find the company in other than imaginary friends and specially chosen teddy bears? The one who loves to create and express true inner self before she realises she is doing it. The one who begins to change but doesn’t care for their outward appearance. Who dresses for themselves and no one else. Who begins to try harder and blossoms into a woman who all along was a light in the dark. No one cares for the girl who walked through purgatory even though she didn’t belong there. The girl who was dragged from place to place, punished for others sins yet still kept trying her best to be better, believing she was wrong and trying to show those around her how much she did love them and how good she truly was.

They don’t write books about women like me. The ones who are broken from the patterns of the past and struggling to escape the ever closing mouth of the narcissists clever disguised as a new beginning, a person you should trust. The woman who fights for change, who refuses to talk when there is no listening ear, who is abused and made out to be a fool or harlot by the very people who shine purity and spiritual perfection. The woman who is controlled, doomed to live a life that does not belong to her or her heart. Her inner compass shows her where to go but crowds gather with weapons and leave her bloodied and bruised. The woman grows tired but begins to accept the darkness and what it can offer her. The woman who finds solace in silence, singularity, a peace found in dark times.

What would they say, where could they begin to describe a woman like me? I would just be a side story, I would not be glorified. This has been their narrative all the while. They remind you daily how you should be and will be destroyed. I just need to know what makes me special, so singled out that in this spotlight of deathly attention I find myself. Truly, only the devil himself appeared to Christ in the desert, a man alone trying to save humanity. Who am I that they so desire to end my life with their words and fierce actions? Where did I go so wrong, but maybe that’s just it. That is my own being of trusting and hope, they were angered because they ended up dead anyway. Their every choice and action led them to the point where they decided or chose to be this content with evil. That this evil would constrict all good and hopeful things. Things they deem worthy of death by their words, their hands, their actions. Their words destroy me. Their lies consumed my mind and ruined my heart forever.

This is why they don’t write stories about us, we are too good for this world. We are too good for them. We are too good for you. We don’t deserve this unrequited existence of pain and suffering. We didn’t need to learn to wear a mask to cover your sins. We shouldn’t have learnt to survive the end of our existence at your hand. It was not our duty to fall for you. You chose death, so let death consume you, like a bellowing smoke, let it wrap its arms around your soul and take your final breath away. Would death set us free from you. What would it take for me to know what that freedom tastes like. Who would believe a story as mine, so desperate, so bizarre, one truly unbelievable and yet here I am. I want to be free of all this heartache and pain. So, I write my own story. For those who share the journey and truly understand. We are not alone, but we are not united yet. Wouldn’t love come to rescue us from world around us set ablaze, we know not because we tire of waiting for it. Let us sharpen our swords and slay the dragon, let us own everything that held us captive, so we may destroy it. We rule over it and claim our own victory because we know, no one is coming to save us. We must save only ourselves in an ending to all that held us captive. That is our beginning.

Image sourced from: https://www.documentarytube.com/articles/top-5-female-warriors-you-need-to-know. No copyright intended.
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Who Are We?

Inspired by BLACKkKLANSMAN film.

There are many evils in this world, too many I can count, and still more than we may know. This film really made me think about this evil. The ones that bare themselves fiercely, taking down all who stand in their way. This film is fantastic, not only through comedic lightness and artistic representation but through the rock-solid, terrifying truth. I was truly terrified in some parts to think that someone, somewhere, would hate me for something so superficial. Whether it be the colour of my skin, hair, my personal spiritual practices, having an opinion that differs from theirs. In a world so broken, why choose to revel in fuelling hateful ideology?

It’s the underlying hatred that is allowed to manifest itself in peoples hearts. We tend to see these people blame everyone and everything else for their own internal issues. They are never the problem, they are the superior. If an issue does arise, it is the devil. Does anyone truly believe that the “devil” would be able to create such evils specifically tailored to irrelevant people? People blame the “devil” as their scapegoat because they are not ready to take responsibility for their own actions. It is everyone else who is seemingly the problem and believes they are justified in their thoughts, words and actions against others. People are the ones who create this evil, we are the ones who divinely inspire whatever is inside us and allow that to control us instead of being the creator and controller.

There are many evils in this world. All that is hidden in plain sight while we fight each other and create irrelevant problems that don’t matter at the end of the day. There are many uneducated opinions and hateful opinions. Are we not the ones who should put more care and understanding into our speech and thought, operate beyond the reptilian brain? We don’t need to be perfect, but we do need to learn to love each other and do better. Self-reflection, ownership and accountability. Communication and forging a path forward that is consciously choosing a path of love over the ego.

Image from Pinterest. No copyright intended.
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When loneliness bites.

Times are tough, but for some they always have been. Loneliness never waited around the corner but devoured us in it’s jaws, falling further into its darkness, you became acclimated, you found yourself a new home.

Surviving the darkness, you made fire and light when there was none, inside you searched for the joy to make it through and neve rneeing tunnel. Now we are here, alone once again, lonely, depressed, crushed in spirit in ways they’ll never understand. We dont need things, we know ehat need. Warriors who paint our faces with the blood of our one true enemies and raise our ruined flags in our victories.

The smoke rises after our weeks, months, years of battling against everyone and everything telling us to just be happy. When we have nothing left we find the last breath to cry out for our own victories. The darkness hides behind the curtain, in the shadows, every whisper. Poison on its tongue spreads lies about us and in our ears it tries to control us.

We’ll fight and fight again and again and again. Rising once more and once more again. Defeating, destroying, marching, slaying the thoughts in our ever racing mind and turmoil in our souls. We’ll break free one day but until that day we’ll revel in our victorious fighting spirit to keep winning or losing our battles to a darkness that moves swiftly and appears in the absence and presence of those around us.

We’ll come again and again until we find our joy. Until we find our happy ending and ever after. Until then, we’ll keep burning the oil and making the flame last until the dawn greets us. We’ll keep marching until the call for the end. We wont stop until we are rulers over our own hearts and minds, over all the darkness tries to oversee. We will win.

The finally victory will be mine and mine alone, the war was waged and fought with veracity, tenacity and struggling flesh.

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Don’t Say Yes.

There’s something that always surprises me, maybe because I will always try and give people a chance to prove themselves, to be who they say they are but there is always a bitter truth revealed in the end. This kind of person believes in themselves and their actions even if these actions are not heartfelt or genuine. They are just doing the work to say they did it, they use it to control your emotions and to make you feel guilty for ever questioning their actions and beliefs centred on them. They will complain, a lot OR alternatively, create a truly negative environment for themselves and those around them. Their emotions will drive a dagger into your heart and soul, and their words drive a wedge between you and those people or things you care about most.

I really believe the first thing that brings this sudden ‘snap’ on their behalf is the need to do. They ‘do’ to prove they ‘are’ when we all really know they aren’t who they pretend to be. They feel like they have to in an almost self forced way achieve complements from others and ownership over others. The second thing I believe that follows is now their action and ulterior motive has been questioned or revealed and this breeds contempt, anger and frustration. They truly believe they are never at fault and to take responsibility is ludicrous. They will play a card as old as time and begin to behave in a way that is based on their belief of proactivity on their end and not reciprocation on yours. They will actually begin to show their true thought and wonder as to why no one is giving them the help they need or why no one is praising them as much as they think they deserve. Again, it’s in their mind, their thoughts that they create this darkness that becomes a cloud over their thoughts, minds, actions, feelings and it begins to seep into their environment drawing people away.

I truly feel the simple solution to all of this is for them to stop doing things because they think they have to or say they want to. This need to ‘do’ is a really unhealthy relationship with the need to be seen as a good person but at the same time they begin to feed and fester the need to be recognised or alternatively and usually, their superiority in how their actions define them as a person. After all they are the ones doing it, right or wrong attitude. I think this something we all get caught up in even if it is not to this extent of narcissism. This need to do right but become very bitter very quickly and no one ever really has the right attitude when it comes to helping others or long suffering.

Everyone will participate to be seen there in the moment but their heart is not in the right state. So why say YES when you should say NO? Whether it’s religious upbringings, forceful parents, the need to be recognised as good. Either one, it doesn’t make it right. Don’t do things in your life because you have to but because you genuinely want to and that you know life is going to be difficult and tiring but you still have a great positivity and grounding to your life that you are giving back to those around you, you are in fact really helping but bringing that ease to someone else’s life not to be recognised or praised but because you understand it’s about giving and not receiving.

Our lives can be so centred on our selves. All we think about is how WE feel, what WE want, what WE need when in fact we should be thinking about how much we struggle and suffer and how much more we should be helping those who are going through hardships because we know first hand what it is like. Having the right attitude before entering into a situation can change the outcome and experience for everyone. If you hold the mindset that everyone should be checking on me and knowing how I am, you’re prioritising the wrong thing. Ask some one else genuinely how they are and listen, don’t talk unless you really know what to say that will help not hinder.

It really does upset me when people can create their environment but they don’t take responsibility for what exactly they create. They either can be of the ‘no-responsibility’ mind set, it’s not my fault I’m like this but yours or the ‘simply so driven to destroy any good around them in the name of self righteousness’ mindset, we end up with more hurt people than helped people. I think a lot of people base their self justification on their emotions, the ‘it’s all me’ party and don’t care genuinely for others even thought they can fake a smile or act ‘normal’ or ‘happy’ around others and easily fool others because no one really looks any deeper. It’s the behind the scenes some people miss.

Like I said, it really bothers me that people can say one thing and do another. It’s a lie and lying annoys me. I feel like there would be a lot of writings out there religious, spiritual, philosophical speaking out against this sort of behaviour but I feel like the best way to describe it is this:

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Philippians 2:3-4 New International Version (NIV)

So the next time you decide to help someone, ask yourself: Am I doing this for me or for them? Do I understand this is not about me and my emotions or thoughts but about bringing help to others? Am I serving my highest good or their needs? Sometimes all we really needs is a little more love and compassion, selflessness and kindness, understanding and patience. Leave your ideas at the door and step out in a more positive, loving way. I think we all have enough negativity around us we don’t need to breed in it our own lives and affect those around us.

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I’M TOO MUCH

If anyone has very told you that you’re too much, take it with a grain of salt. You are too much, for them. It will never be acknowledged or recognised how much you give or do for this people but they will try to drag you down to their level. They will acknowledge you’re truth.

You are too good.

You are too kind.

You are too forgiving.

You are too expectant.

You are, for them, too much.

They cannot process your ability to keep trying while they fail. The next time someone says you are too much, just know you are too much. You are the too much good in their broken world. They sought you out and made you feel special for a while but now you’re too much work, too much effort and too much time they don’t want to give. They want too much coming in and not a whole lot going out.

You’re a gift that keeps on giving, but you’re also strong enough to hold your standards and know you deserve to keep on receiving. You are Worthy.

You’ll never be too much. X

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Unguard your heart

You’re quite guarded. For the reasons known to you might be time to ascend a little higher and accept those things we cannot change and allow those who care about you, inside your heart. Meditate on your future, what change you want to see and understand how you’re going to need to change your attitudes towards certain subjects and just accept others as they are. You can’t convince them otherwise, so why close yourself off to kind hearted people even if you don’t agree on much. You could be closing yourself off to a future that looks good or is good. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty in how things progress with others either. I hope this helps.

Image sourced from Google.
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The Right Time

Relationships are a great construction of two people giving of themselves wholly. As time has passed there have been many lessons we’ve all learnt from each other, some good some bad, some not so great. In saying this, there have been many lessons we take from examples of those around us in our family, friends, movies and maybe even inspired through and from movies. We are constantly looking all around us seeing these relationships take form and exist like the air we breathe. It has great power to be seen, great power to bring those great men to tenderness and timid women to great strength. We find ourselves in each other, in every situation, we transform and grow.


There are many examples where we are young and we can choose each other and love for the rest of our days, there are loves were taken or lost, loves that are shattered and loves that are yet to be. Funny how we can feel those words without even having to think twice. Love being the bond between two individuals making them one, we learn to accept parts and correct others. We can break or make ourselves and others in the environment we create. With words lost and actions, we can never return we break and destroy, with words and actions thoughtfully planned we can control and with thoughts and actions inspired we can ignite a flame that may never stop growing if we keep trusting that feeling that grows ever more with positive acknowledgment from our beloved.


We are all so tender and fragile, entering into a commitment we may not fully understand but our best intentions are our best card at dealing with whatever may come next. We decide we are going to do this together, the other persons suffering and needs are greater than our own. We don’t decide it we just feel it and go with it because if we don’t then we suffer too. We are incredible creatures to know ourselves in every secret place, we know our truest emotions and the things we love or despise. As time goes on we know our truest self, what we will accept in any of our relationships, we now set a standard because we have learnt or grown through fire, what we know we are worthy of receiving, what standard of love we desire to receive and no longer settle for those that are not worthy of our time or energy. We learn to accept we are so worthy of receiving because all we do is give, day or night at the drop of a hat there would be nothing we wouldn’t do to battle for our loved one. We learn so we want someone to reciprocate this action to us, no more empty words, promises, time being wasted, we are ready for the whole package. We accept nothing less now.


Love is a grand thing but it is not alive unless we give it life. We are the holders of life to create what we will. We cannot wait around praying and hoping, life is what happens when we decide on the action then live it out. That is living, that is life, that is love. Every day giving to each other, thinking of one another, being thoughtful, considerate, protecting, sacrificing. Someone else’s needs are your priority, through the thick and thin of it. Love is not you thinking you are a good person, it is you doing what is right every day, every night, every moment you can. They will always be your priority, your number one and if work, friends or other activities take that place, no one can receive the love they deserve from you if they give you priority in their life and vice versa. You learn that in time, you can do better, be better and accept nothing less than better than what you’re getting or giving right now.

Time is a great teacher of all things we allow ourselves to learn from the past, change our present so when we create our future we are creating memories that are worth remembering, that always last.

“Do not awaken love before it’s the right time.”

Song of Solomon 8:4
Image found on Google
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All We Have Is Time.

They say time is a present, my children have taught me this to a fuller understanding in day by day moments. Sharing more engaging activities has helped build upon a foundation of sacrifice and love. There will be a time they won’t need or want hugs and kisses, bedtime stories and me in general to help them. They will want to express their ever-growing independence all by themselves. They won’t call for me unless they need something, they won’t require me to nurture them as an I once did and in all of this, all I can think of is how precious the time we have is NOW. That there will be a time in the future where they will be able to go be their person, that right now will never happen again.

Realising all of this has given me a greater appreciation for my role as their mother, that at any moment life will change again and this time won’t come back, it won’t be undone, it will just be completed and built upon in days of moments made up of spending time together, teaching each other and growing in love. Amongst the frustrations and challenges we all face, taking the time and making the time are the most important tools we have in allow life and love to grow and happen. Otherwise, we end up with a house of stick lies where at any moment we fear it will fall exposing our failings. Time is all we have, the greatest gift we have been given to make a real difference big or small in our lives and those lives around us. We can create change, impact on production and future progression, we even get the time to relax but do we ever really make time for the important things in life, the things we look back upon and wish for the time there again, the time we will never get back.

Make the time. Making time, creating time, setting aside time. Showing something it is important means prioritising it. You don’t hide behind excuses like “I don’t have the time.” No, you make the time, you set it time aside and you use that time wisely like nourishment in the soil for the roots of the relationship. You can’t regret the time you never had because you never gave the time for it. We are given a gift so malleable but many of us tend to lose it, waste it or mismanage it. We expect others to control our time for us taking no responsibility for the gift we are given. We can take it and create something even if it only lasts a short while, sometimes something existing for a moment is better than not at all. I remind myself in every moment with them, I can never get this time back, I can only ever look back. I ask myself what memories am I creating, what memories will they hold. Let every moment be special, even just for a moment.

We tend to regret our choices with great hindsight and the emotion attached to it, how can we grasp the wind yet control it all at the same time. The sooner we recognise what true gift we have been given we can comprehend how t use it. Teaching one another how to use it to the best of our ability and create something more in our lives so we don’t look back on all the times we were ‘too busy.’ It’s time to make the time. You’re tired and sad, take the time to be happy, do something instead of nothing. DO something different instead of the same thing, do something out of your comfort zone that teaches you and broadens your horizon even slightly. You’re growth, your life, your experiences and your contribution to your life all lie in your hands and no one can decide how you use that time. Only you can choose to be wise or foolish.

You are given a gift of time. How will you best use this gift to create something you can leave for others to be inspired by and inspire to? There is no time like the present.

Image by PSD found on Google.
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Healing

I was so inspired by Heal on Netflix I had to take some notes and share some thoughts, I hope you all are encouraged by what I have to share. Blessings.

When I was a child, I saw a doctor a lot, I was sick off from school and no one knew why but I did. It was fear and anxiety of being physically bullied every day by other students with the combination of stresses already in my home environment. This would affect any child unable to understand or process through emotions especially when I knew I couldn’t tell anyone because no one would help me. The doctor in his careless nature gave me Panadol for whatever symptom I would experience like a sore stomach or fever. I ended up getting Liver failure from the Panadol but also my external environment affecting my internal environment. My subconscious mind was more powerful than I could ever know as a child causing my health to plummet. I was taken to a naturopath and as he predicted the time frame for healing, I was healthier and healing in more ways than one. Another example was when I began high school and I was drowning in a traumatic environment once again, not saying anything and things were allowed to build up. I lost hair, eyelashes and I looked very unwell in general. Only once I made p my mind to heal and get my hair back, did it begin a journey of healing.

It would seem people are more reactive than preventative when it comes to illness. We tend to get to such a bad state and respond in fear and try to fix it and patch it over and never really deal with the root issue. Know what triggers it .here has to be something inside that is releasing that trigger response from receiving a trigger.

I believe fully that healing begins in the mind. Many people don’t ever really heal because of one of these reasons: they find it easier to not change their habits or lifestyle, so nothing changes, it accumulates, manifests and diversifies or they also begin change, start o feel better and stop, it’s like filling a car up a little bit then stop. You can drive but only a short distance until it runs out again. Healing begins within your ability to believe other than what you know, what your environment can dictate or how your life has taken on the subconscious environments over the years and years of life. Detox is never quick and easy or even enjoyable, it’s painful, birth is painful, life is painful but all great changes in life come from the pain of changing and growing, ridding yourself of the old and receiving in gratitude the new. If you can believe it every day you can feel it, triggering the brain chemistry to start that healing. It all comes from the choices we make from the things we think or feel and how we respond to them.

Our ideal of health and health structure is set by those who have told us what health is or is not. They tell us what is healthy and what is not, yet all the while we never take responsibility for our health and look into what we are being given or told. Health is not just exercising to hide our binge on processed foods the night before or a seemingly healthy breakfast, it’s our environments that affect us every day. The Earth/outdoor environment around us, it affects us either positively or negatively. The external like our stressful work or home environment. It is our Internal environment, our consciousness interprets our external environment. Our nervous system affects our internal based on our external. SO belief is beyond biology. We can undo diabetes, unhealthy relationships with food and alcohol by getting to root issue of why we do what we do, including accept a negative environment. We also absorb from our subconscious environment from those around us and their behaviours. Trauma, alcoholism, conflict all affect us till later life that our filter of life becomes so tainted by that subconscious mind. Recognising that these stressors are important in our healing. it’s the first step.

Emotional freedom is an important part of healing. It allows us to go to those parts where things are accumulating mentally and emotionally. This subconscious reaction again does affect us, our brain is sending signals constantly throughout the body and if they are coherent waves then healing, growth and repair begin. Stress breaks this and it causes a breakdown, the waves are jagged and the brain receives this message matches it. Just like a polygraph we need to read these signals. they are either a notice or warning of your situation. I do remember every time without fail when I made up my mind and changed my life, it did. Everything aligned into the right way I needed it to be and my whole and all environmental factors changed because I changed them creating a new safe place where I could thrive and not feel like I was being suffocated.

if you want to prevent disease, prevent build up. It begins not in just physiology but psychology, but also forgiveness. All thoughts happen within us every day and affect us whether we know it or not. When we forgive we release all anger resentment. It doesn’t let them off the hook but forgiveness is about ME letting GO and you let go of all victim mindset or pain you hold onto and you generate healing because we all know that our thoughts can consume us just as much as the disease can.

This is the basic step-by-step process in which our health can begin to nosedive over time:

  • Accumulation of just too much energy in our system
  • Stress – keep taking on stressor
  • Localisation – they find a weak spot and manifests and diversifies

Health is not just a prescription from the doctor, it’s not constant gym sessions or “health foods” full of preservatives and additives. It’s everything you put into your world and how you absorb it too. Walking in nature, slowly, breathing, focusing, calming, is more effective than taking a panadol, sitting in front of a computer in a building. That’s how we were made to live, in a connected environment not a separated, cold or clinal area. Exposure to life strengthens us and grows us. Our mind taking processing both these scenarios creates enjoyment of stress. We should not dread our life but thrive in it and sometimes that means small changes creating a new routine. I know a lot of people disregard holistic natural healing and health care because it’s just so ‘unreal’ but it gives us a much-needed break. We stop, let go and change a thought or emotion, we learn to let go of said thoughts or emotions that we kept, that kept pushing us to break ourselves down and cause us issues within ourselves.

To combat these I try what would be consider alternative methods, which is incorrect because there is nothing alternative about going for a walk or just breathing in sea air. I truly believe a high dose of antibiotics as an uncertain solution is the alternative method and still doesn’t provide healing but destroys all good and bad bacteria in our gut. You can’t have just conventional medicine or spiritual/energy healing. I believe that the eastern way of life QiGong has the right balance of understanding plants as medicine and how to live a lifestyle where emergence can take place and transformation is completed. No short cuts.I hold the belief that health is from within, we decide what affects us, how we heal. I have found that it begins with our daily intake of food, what are we putting into our body, it’s like a fertilizer that nurtures and nourishes our physical body and affects our gut which affects our subconscious and emotional state.

So the connection is there. Meditation or belief in entanglement has become another clarity where I can use this as a tool for security in myself, my emotional and spiritual state are at ease and helps ease my thoughts and calm my soul. My consciousness is now under control and not out of control. Creating an environment in my home or work takes work, I can create a personal environment in my home where I can clean and organise and personalise to my joy, my work I can just add joy and peace into others lives and try not to absorb their energy and hopefully influence them into positive energy changes which are like the domino effect, changing their thoughts, emotions, spirit and body.

Science doesn’t have all the answers yet but that doesn’t mean these things aren’t real. There is nothing wrong with an open mind to see healing and change alongside changing our routines, habits, thoughts into new and positive ways. , healing cannot be one without the other, it needs all of you to work together and work towards that goal of healing, think it, breathe it, feel it every day. That’s where the healing comes from. Focus on life, something that brings you joy, spend time doing things that make you feel good, life is such a blessing and happening all around us. I don’t have all the answers but I certainly have more from what I’ve been through.

Love of the Earth, Love of Each Other and Love of our Children

Heal – Netflix
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