There is a sadness that can’t be beat, this constant reminder of what was. There is a brokenness that can’t be fixed and a loneliness that can’t be cured. Lingering thoughts of regret plague my mind and I am constantly reminded that time cannot be revisited and all I’ve lost along the way. I wish could be better than what I was and I wish I could fix this thought but it will never let me go. Between four walls I cannot escape the constant reminder of silence in absence of those who pretend to always be here. There is no more.
I have lost everything but my physical attendance to the sunrising, I may as well be a bird whose wings have been severed. I have been humiliated in a nakedness, left to lay bare. How can one made for such glory be found so weakly and refused. Rejected and broken with no where to go and forsaken by those who proclaim they love you. It will happen in this life, this lonely existence that only you can try to fix what is now broken but nothing can ever be the same again.
I wish there was fair warning but there was nothing, just betrayal and abandonment. It all got taken from my grasp, I was unprepared. Nothing can prepare you for a life of regret or those who keep you down. We get left with a broken mind, a broken heart and a broken spirit. The is such a brokenness that exists and it’s not of our own doing, yet we are to take the responsibility of what was done to us. We didn’t ask for this, we didn’t beg for this, we didn’t foresee this.
No one comes into this world prepared for the wickedness ahead. How do you win at random selection to have a life that is divine and beneficial to wellbeing. We do not control those around us but as the ones who are brought in, we are controlled indeed. We do our best and our best just is never satisfactory. You will never win at their games, you will be made out to be a fool for believing in a greater hope to just be. They will never leave to your peace and they will ensure your suffering is long and your time becomes short.
So we enjoy our time alone and our lives that are now void, we are so broken and don’t know where to turn but it’s all okay because that’s just what we do, we suffer at the hands of those who are pretentious and hollow. They have no more capacity to them then an empty balloon. They will wither and fade and we will remain strong in our broken spirit, our survival in our strength to find one glimpse of hope for love and safety. That we should no longer suffer at that hands of those who lay in waiting for us to stumble into their traps, to fall victim in their games.
Esoteric Realms 