It Hurts

It hurts from the beginning when I gave you a chance you didn’t deserve. You took that chance and ruined me. Everything I did was for you, to benefit you, to grow you because I loved you, cared for you and saw your worth.

You didn’t see my worth, not once or at least you made sure that I didn’t believe I could ever be of any worth to anyone. Your lack of care and motivation in our relationship spoke volumes. You believed you could do as you pleased and I had to do as you say or you didn’t care what I did as long as I was there whenever you felt you needed someone to use.

It’s hard to end things but even harder when you ended things between us because you showed me it didn’t matter how much I gave it would never be good enough. I see you now and you’ve moved on with your life. Happier than ever, happier than you ever were with me. That you can come in to my life and leave as you please. The emotional roller coaster of you lies and cheating then begging for me to stay. I have nothing left to give to you, I have nothing left to say. Except, it hurts.

It hurts a lot, it hurt me so much that I don’t hurt anymore. That I’ve gone from raw pain to nothing. Person after person, chance after chance. I have nothing left for you or anyone, yet you have more to take and something left to give. You give so freely to only those you choose, everyone, anyone but me. So I don’t understand why I was never good enough for you to show love and affection to but I do know that I never want to feel like this ever again. I also want you to know how you made me believe a lie about myself, that I am the one who is unlovable when that is a lie within itself.

You drag me into your mess and see I have love to give, you stole any sense I had left and now I’m left empty. You on the other have lost nothing, you’ve only ever gained and preserved your emotions. Now I’m finished with living like this, I hope I can heal and love.

Oh to be loved and to never hurt again.