Emptiness

The emptiness I feel, I wish I could explain. It’s like a massive hole that is never filled, a black hole or void. It hurts to know that it doesn’t matter how kind or loving I am, I will not be loved back. I will have no family, no friends, just groups of people who come and go as they please. I used to care and now I have given up the fight. I have no fight left in me because I got told I didn’t need to fight anymore. I’ve also been told it’s not worth having if it’s not worth fighting for. So who do I believe?

My first mistake was believing anything they had to say about my life. They don’t focus on their own and do as they please. I wish I had never listened or felt pressured to do as they asked of me because now I’m here. Alone. Hating the lack of life, that feeling of I’m not really living.

This doesn’t affect them though and that’s the point. Their careless words cause emptiness in others lives, lives they’ve never or will ever live. Consequences they don’t have to live with and face every day and no production or proactivity that usually would occur if I just trusted me and had people who encouraged what wanted. Not the constant uphill battle of people who want to control my actions and choices. 

Long story short, I hate them, I hate this, I hate this “life” especially the lack thereof. Don’t do this, promise me you won’t. Trusting others and letting them force their opinions on you. I praise your strength if you don’t but if you became like me, beaten down. Stand up again before it’s too late. Don’t let them steal your only life, don’t let them leave you empty.